Actions Speak Louder Than Words I had a man tell me that the problem women have is that we are more attached to a man than we do words their actions. He meant that we do not always tell if a man walks his talk. We all get caught in the words, and ignore the value of his actions.
How many of us get snowballed by what a man says to us? All those sweet nothings he whispers, the perfect response to the perfect moment and the feelings those words us. But how many of us more or at least equal weight on what they are for the actions? I would say not many of us.
And why do we do that? That is the real question. Perhaps some of us just as caught in the fact that a man is only to start talking. And even more so the fact that they are talking to us. How many of us walk around life starving from lack of conversation, stimulating conversation with a man?
When we first meet someone we are intrigued by what they click - how they live. We compare the interests and objectives. We even analyze whether or not we can see ourselves sharing our lives with them. Let's be honest - as we women crave conversation. The saying that we never without something to talk about is correct. We always have something to say and want someone to listen.
So why do we not look at a man of action? Probably because very few actions mirror the words we hear. We like the way they say our sense. And only after the relationship is more than we realize that we were crazy to take only what they told us. Is that us terrible people? No, but sure makes us feel like a fool at times.
Another man told me the secret - men know what women want to hear, so they tell us, for them to get what they want. I do not know if it is calculated, but it would make sense, even though it is instinctive.
If we are to begin assessing a man by his words and deeds, what would the outcome be? For me, the result would be sweet. I would not feel disappointed or used less na? Do, and more respected. I can say that every time I've valued only the words that I heard was the times that I let down.
And who let me down? Me - I'm the one who rationalized why they never called me or sent me flowers, or sent me love notes, or just as much trouble as I do. I settled and that hurt me the end.
So what have I done on this subject? Well it's an effort to exercise, but I did not just listen to what the man says. I look to connect in a man actions. Are they so much of an effort in the relationship? I have the feeling that they really feel what they say they are feeling? And to a fault, I'm skeptical at best that they really mean what they say. Our best ally is our gut feeling - and we are very guilty of ignoring. If we ignore it we are getting hurt.
I've seen women who just as much as they received from a man, they never more than what is being shared with them, and they never let a man know how she really feels. I would not say that the solution, but to some extent, there is something to say. Personally I can not do.
I know only one way - up front, open and loving. To back reminds me that I deprive myself of the full experience of sharing with a man - it feels like betrayal. But the catch 22, I'm much more vulnerable to be hurt. As one of my friends says to me - you learn after you've hurt a 100 times. Well I never claimed that a quick learner - but a 100? I do not think your heart can bear that much pain.
Weakness or strength
Sometimes your biggest weakness may be your biggest strength. Consider the story of a 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.
The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was good, so he could not understand why, after three months of training, the captain had him only one move.
"Sensei," the boy finally said, "I do not need to learn more moves?"
"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you ever need to know," the sensei replied.
Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.
A few months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament.
Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third game proved more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged the boy deftly used his one move to win the game. Still amazed by his success, the boy is now in the final.
This time his opponent was bigger, stronger and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to have been matched. Fear that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to quit the race if the sensei intervened.
"No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue."
Shortly after the match resumed, his opponent a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Immediately, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.
On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in every game. When the boy called the courage to ask what is really on his mind.
"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?"
"You will for two reasons," the sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. Secondly, the only known defense for that move for your opponent to grab your left arm."
The boy the greatest weakness was his greatest strength.
~ Author Unknown ~