here ------------- It took a long time for me to return here.Such long gone, I'm here now.It 's in and I still do not use English to write my own life, even Tho I pushed myself to write some privacy in the English language in my diary book.anyway , I am here, and I can write what I want here, because here, nobody knows who I am am.its very big for me. tracing my memories, so many things happened before I came back.i was with a guy I talked to about a year ago, but things did not work during us.but point, I made it as me, and we had a good time Lineage adenatogether.we no spoke in a long time.Now about myself, I have one guy who, of course, I can not help but fall into.but Truth, somtimes, we simply can not control our feelings.i subject to this guy, who no one anymore.but-I do not care.i I'm not begging to be with him, in fact, I am very happy where I am now. I can be around for a few months, we can go with it fun.even Tho GF, I just want to be his friend.thats pretty much what I want most right now.however, I am so sad and disappointed that he and his GF, to do some things together.i I think kind of jealous and upset.even I'm not planning to be with him, or something, but things can not be easily me.but I still let ourselves that, like the fact that I did before.yes, last one.its Deja vu for me.it think I was the same situation before.the guy who likes some other girl, and I just wait there, wishing he could like me or crush me or something.last, I did, what actually happened, I was with him for several months, I can say one thing that.this, I know this may be wrong but I never ask him to do something for me.i could feel that he has a crush on or me.i know that I am a bad girl, but he likes me, I know I should stop. In fact, I stopped so many things, I think, guilty.today he told me that his GF had to kiss goodbye, the next time, I invited him to win it back.it sucked really sucked.asking who U really like to get another girl sucks.but I know that this is exactly what you need to do.i doLineage 1 adena not want to betray my heart.so I think now it's with her now, hugging ... and blabla, things which can never belong to me.i cound not tell him anything about this.i not even told my best friend.coz I know what I did wrong again, I have drunk up again.i simply not I can do things right me.i have to force myself not to think, not pity, do not become greed.i cool to play with my feelings. This is normal, I can feel it, because it is who I am, as now, should I feel sad when he was with someone else instead of me.i can feel this.coz I love it, even Tho I can not do anything . because it can not be the one who belongs to me, and it can not be someone who can give me everquest 2 goldwhat I really want.maybe I lost my mind at time.things will be good again.i penalty could be reintroduced. Yes, I know that I am miserable, struggling I want to find out where I'm going to half of next year. But my faith is out of control. What I can do is fight and patiently waits. I must do whatever I can to make their lives better and better, and I should slow my pace to see how my life will go and try to enjoy the moment, I have now, my friends and my family.